Please accompany me

Please be my companion as I read all of Anne Rice's books. I have recently completed my hardback, first edition collection through the help of many booksellers around the world. Now I am truly ready to undertake this project of reading all of Anne's books and chronicling my relationship with them.

Let's begin with Interview with the Vampire, of course. And I want to go to the first few pages. I want to establish in our minds' eyes how Louis de Pointe du Lac looks like.

Brad Pitt makes a very handsome Louis, and make no mistake. Louis is handsome. But for those of you who want to be as close to the novel's description as possible, I provide some options.

First off, I highly recommend that you find the graphic novel Claudia's Story. It is approved by Anne herself, and so not only is the art exquisite, it is also faithful to the book's descriptions of the characters, with no regard for Pitt, Tom Cruise, or Stuart Townsend. I will say, however, that Kirsten Dunst is the perfect Claudia of that age. But let's talk about Louis first, as the boy interviewer described him.

Louis's flesh is described to be as white as the collar of his shirt, like bleached bone. Click here to check out some objects that are bleached bone white, and use your imagination to see it as Louis's skin.

Let me find photos of his fiery, green eyes. I googled, and boy, are they lovely!

Here's a page from Claudia's Story. Hot, ain't he? Now go buy the book!

Day 22 on IWTV: Claudia's questions

Be glad I made you what you are, or I'll break you in a thousand pieces! 

Well, does that sound like an empty threat from the villainous Lestat? Louis does depict him as the villain of their lives, and this argument shattered the eggshell peace the three once had. I just feel bad that Lestat wouldn't admit the truth to his fledglings, that he had to be so secretive. He had his reasons, and sadly, we'll never know in this novel. We'll have to wait till we get to The Vampire Lestat so we get his side of the story.

Claudia, in the meantime, buried herself in her books, doing research on all things myth and occult. You know, if I were given immortal life, I'd probably read as many books as I could, too! What a wonderful way to spend eternity, to acquire and read books, and to travel! No, I won't be enrolling in high school over and over and over again.

Lestat had a beautiful fountain made, and hired replacement workers to the two that Claudia killed. And then Lestat made killings that made it to the papers! That bit put a smile on my face. But we also see Lestat being solicitous about Claudia's whereabouts. Oh, if only the Brat Prince just outright expressed his love for the little girl--whoops! woman vampire. Claudia now is beginning to ask the same questions Louis asked; the very same questions that had brought nothing but sadness to his heart.

The image of the skull in this scene is jarring, and a grim reminder of death. At this point, Claudia still did not know that Louis had a hand in her death, drinking from her, and that it was Lestat who gave her the Blood. In this sense, both of them are her parents. But could Louis admit this? Could he keep this secret?

Day 21 on IWTV: Claudia and the corpses

Why I have failed to point out Anne Rice's prose until this post is a major oversight on my part. Her prose has often been described as detailed, lush, vibrant. I agree. I would say her mind is awake, and her imagination is a well-exercised muscle. She does not hold back on description, but she never goes overboard. She treads the delicate balance of just enough description to help us see what she sees and hears and feels and tastes and smells, and that is a mark of a truly skilled writer.

For instance, to describe Louis's sadness, she uses images of darkness, nearing the edge of a cliff, cracks and faults in the earth. Anyone who has ever experienced a period of depression would recognize these. Anyone who's had a happy, blissful life devoid of any sadness (is there really anyone in life like that?) will be able to empathize at least.

Louis's depression threatens to descend and crash upon him once again. When he began to notice Claudia growing up, maturing into a woman, her mind no longer a child's. Anyone who has ever lost a lover or experienced the heartbreak of a break-up could identify with how Louis felt about this time in his life with Claudia.

It is easy to dismiss Louis's depression to his being inducted into the never-ending Night. But we must remember that he was already depressed when Lestat found him. He was mourning Paul's death. Languishing, inviting death to find him.

What Claudia did to the mother and daughter servants were macabre! Claudia has become an enigma to Lestat and Louis. If you are reading the novel along with me, you know the feeling of wanting to enter Claudia's mind, to see it from her point-of-view, and find out why she began behaving like this. But aren't women always a mystery?

Go read for yourself Interview with the Vampire: Claudia's Story, the graphic novel adapted by Ashley Marie Witter.

Lestat was mad at Claudia's brash actions, and Louis was trying to reason with him. As Claudia's "parents," they had had to take care of the problem of the servants: disposing the corpses and dealing with the bereaved family. There's a funny episode of Lestat getting a bit drunk...but this also forebodes a scary event to follow. Foreshadowing, my dear writers!

Claudia asks the question coldly, "Which one of you made me the way I am?" In the movie played brilliantly by Dunst, she screams out the question. In the book, there is a chilling effect.

Claudia drops her bouquet of chrysanthemums. Think about it. This woman in a child's unchanging body, forever in that size and shape, and the diminutive petals of the mums scattering to the floor. That's the picture Anne paints for us.

Claudia is a unique vampire. She has spent her life more as a vampire than a human. She makes all of these realizations. Lestat, being mean, said Claudia would have grown up into a hag (and not age gracefully). The spite between these two is too painful.

Off-topic note. I just noticed that New Orleans is in Louisiana, and Louisiana is named after Louis XIV, King of France in 1643. Louisiana means Land of Louis. And Louis is our protagonist vampire!

Day 20 on IWTV: Claudia's coffin

Before I go to the topic I wanted to write about in this entry, I want to quickly mention that Louis was learning to enjoy the great throng of strangers that were surrounding him in New Orleans, and from this detachment, he gave himself permission to drink blood from humans.

It's a Sunday and again at church I heard the admonition not to fall in love with this world, that we are simply pilgrims passing through, that our home is heaven. And while I do agree that heaven is our ultimate home, I can't help but fall in love with this world. I mean, look at it! The mountains, streams, rivers, trees, flowers, animals, oceans... what's not to love? I am fortunate to be born in a tropical archipelago paradise, beautiful seas and beaches, mountain ranges, plains. How can I not love being in this world?

And then you meet people. I wish to travel more, but wherever I did travel I see a lot of culture and art. And even seeing documentaries on TV about other peoples, how can you not fall in love with this world? Even God loved this world that He came into it as a Man.

But on with the story. That Louis would play along with Claudia this charade for the poor coffin maker showed how much Claudia's influence was on him. I wanted to underline the reason he gave to the coffin maker: "Her heart, she cannot live." Well, was it not Claudia's relentless heart that kept her alive as he fed on her? This was obviously too much for him.

Lestat and Claudia claimed the coffin, not without casualty, and yet Claudia did not sleep in it. It meant something different to her altogether. When we see a child's coffin it is an aberration of nature. It is a tragic picture. A bud snatched too early. But what do we think when a child killer wants it for herself?

Claudia has learned to hunt on her own, and haunted cemeteries and impoverished regions, making Lestat's heart stout. Louis, ever squeamish, couldn't bear it. She is quite a remarkable literary character. Lestat had a nickname for her: Sister Death. And a mocking one for Louis: Merciful Death.

The unholy trinity

Day 19 on IWTV: Claudia's enigma

"Our life was much changed with Mademoiselle Claudia," said Louis. Claudia leaves an indelible mark on Louis heart, and this carries on for the rest of the novel. I must admit, on my heart, too. Claudia was truly a remarkable vampire. In many ways, she is more a vampire than Louis could ever be: ruthless in the kill, seductive, insatiable. She is truly Lestat's daughter. That's how I see Claudia. More Lestat's daughter than Louis's. More Louis's lover than daughter. But I jump ahead.

Claudia is a newborn vampire, and already she adapts to this vampire life more easily and readily than Louis did. She was not so traumatized by her Mamma's death as Louis was by Paul's passing. She had not much memory of human life to have any of Louis's regrets and clinging--or detached respect, as he would put it.

But Louis did see himself as Claudia's father, naturally, in the first years of her vampire life.

Louis's love for Claudia is unique as Lestat's. It is hard to sum up, but Rice draws it beautifully when she tells us how these two male vampires interact with her. Louis was nurturing, Lestat was proud and ambitious. Lestat brought Claudia to cemeteries and showed her victims of the plague, dead and dying. And he says that Claudia will never die, that her body will always be fresh and alive and stay always as is. He says it as a blessing, but as with all blessings, there is a dark side to it, which Claudia fully experiences.

I highly recommend that you get for yourself a copy of the graphic novel Interview with the Vampire: Claudia's Story by artist Ashley Marie Witter. You can follow her Twitter @TazyCrazy.

During her early years Claudia didn't speak. And during this time, Lestat finally rubbed off on Louis, and Louis began hunting humans. He did not lose his Louis-ness even though he's moved to humans from animals, I think. He still was, in essence, the same. The revulsion to killing, was still there, deep inside, but he would finish off his victims before he allowed it to arise. He killed differently from Lestat or Claudia. Only his melancholy has abated considerably, and he credits it not only to the kill, but to the joy of seeing the teeming life of humans around him. He was becoming more and more detached. This is very important character development.

The three of them went to the theatre often, to see operas and Shakespeare, and in this I envy them greatly. I wish I could afford to see as many plays and musicals as possible, and I find this more valuable than the furniture and carpets Lestat imported. Louis loved books and often read to Claudia. What a beautiful life, really! A romantic, fairy tale life!

Claudia learned to love human art and music and literature, an influence of Louis. Claudia learned to love the seduction of the kill, obviously a trait inherited from Lestat. Louis, of course, never forgot it was he who drew Claudia's blood. Claudia chose to sleep in his coffin with him.

But of course, the story does not end here for them. And Claudia's mind, though retaining her five-year-old body, matured and became a woman's. And soon she would voice out her opinions, her mind, her fiery intellect. And she wanted her own coffin. She wanted to see a coffin built for a child. And there are little things more tragic on this earth than a child's coffin.

Day 17 on IWTV: Claudia born into the darkness

"She was sensual. Her eyes were as wide and clear as Babette's." I think, with that confession, Louis just fell in love with Claudia. Claudia's first words as a vampire were, "Where is Mamma?" and "I want some more."

With Claudia entering the scene the game takes a different turn. It is almost like a star has come into the lives of Louis and Lestat, and we see this in her satin hair, her glowing eyes. At this point I am so very tempted to put a bookmark on Interview and go to Ashley Marie Witter's excellent graphic novel adaptation Claudia's Story.

It becomes obvious that Lestat turned Claudia into a vampire to keep Louis from leaving. Louis did express his desire to escape. I wonder what would have happened if he did leave.

When I was struggling in college and my sister was about to finish school, she got pregnant with her first baby. I fell in love with my niece and took to caring for her, and often I was absent from school just to look after her so my sister could finish her studies. My sister used my soft heart a lot for her own sake, manipulating me to stay at home for the little girl, or stay up late so she can sleep because she had an early class the next day.

Well, I soon dropped out of college and thought, Why, I'm investing in another person's life. Must be worth it.

Of course, I shouldn't blame others for my own dropping out of school. I think the first day we become truly adults is when we take full responsibility for all our decisions in life, no longer blaming others for this or that misfortune.

I must say that not finishing college is a shame I carry to this day. And though I still do pursue with passion my loves: theater, literature, I think I might have gotten further on if I stuck to college and finished. Maybe.

Louis and Claudia is the first true love affair in Interview, because so far Louis had expressed nothing but animosity towards Lestat. Louis could have picked up and run away, maybe even carried Claudia with him. But he chose to stay. In his outward loathing of Lestat, he must have deeper reasons for staying that he has not yet admitted to the boy interviewer at this point. Louis is such a complex character.

Facebook!
A little off-topic note here. I am happy to be one of the Persons of the Page! I found Anne Rice's public facebook page where she regularly interacts with her millions of fans with interesting questions, articles, thoughts.

I also belong to a local group of Anne Rice fans, sort of a Pinoys of the Page. The Anne Rice Philippines facebook group, headed by Casey Edmunds.

Recently, I also joined the Lestat Book Coven, where people discuss a lot of about Rice's books. So, if you accuse me of being an Anne Rice fan, well, all I can say is Guilty As Charged!

Day Five: Louis's problems only begin

As the young interviewer got to know about vampires a bit more: the necessity of coffins, the danger of sunlight, the superstition about garlic and crucifixes, Louis gets to "know" Lestat a bit more intimately, by sharing a coffin with him the first night.

In spite of myself, I find this actually thrilling. Morbid, to share a coffin with a vampire, yes, but Lestat is so beautiful. Louis is beautiful, too. How homoerotic! Haha!

Still, a vampire is a dead human body reanimated by strong Blood, and with supernatural powers like speed and stealth. Not at all attractive, really. Sorry Bela Meyers! I wonder if the young interviewer's cigarette becoming one long cylindrical ash, indicative of time and his being in rapt attention, also was a metaphor to Louis's physical transformation. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, but not if you become a vampire.

Lestat's spell began to wear off Louis when he became a vampire. It is very similar to us addictive humans, who go to one substance for a high, and when that does not satisfy anymore, to go into another. Louis was disillusioned by Lestat, something I would never know because I do not see with vampire eyes (nor do I intend to; I'd love to stay human). And how positively ironic that Louis had to handle the plantation still, that he did not escape the problems of the living, and added the problems of the undead to them.

Tomorrow, I read about Louis's first kill. This promises to be a great adventure.

Day Three, IWTV: Louis's conversion

I forgot myself. I forgot myself totally.

Those were the mortal Louis's overwhelming thoughts when he encountered the supernatural creature that is the vampire. He said his past "shrank to embers."

This experience is almost akin, in fact, almost perfectly describes, my conversion to Christianity when I was twelve. I grew up as a Sunday School kid. My parents separated when I was six, and since then, my uncle Albert and aunt Wilma had taken me to church every Sunday. I enjoyed the stories, but that was all they were to me: stories. Fantastical, adventurous, but having no more real value than say Jack and the Beanstalk or Puss in Boots. All these stories anyway amounted to one moral for the young boy: be good and obedient.

Then one summer, in Laguna, someone shared the Gospel to me, and the clouds parted in my mind and my heart cracked open. I realized God loved me, and expressed it undeniably through the Man Jesus Christ. All those stories in the Bible taught me in Sunday School: Moses crossing the Red Sea, David defeating the giant Goliath, all of them pointed to Jesus' love, birth, sacrifice, death, and resurrection. I was reduced to nothing. I made a decision to embrace Christ.

I guess it was opposite for Anne Rice at the time. In the biographies of her, we learn that she turned to secular humanist atheism in college, having grown up Catholic. And I think she expressed the same feeling in this scene of Louis's transformation into the vampire. Isn't it curious that the feelings surrounding the separate experiences are the same? Two different conversions, both resulting into the death of ego.

I always return to that moment when my faith runs dry. And also at the story of my baptism, which is a story for another blog entry. And my near-death at the floods of Ondoy. God always saving, God always loving.

Louis cherished his last sunrise before he became a vampire. He was going to lose the light. I, on the other hand, grew up to be a teenager and realized I lost the dark. The music of the Smashing Pumpkins, whose poetry I loved were denied to me. So were Anne Rice's books that had the words vampire, damned, devil, thief and witching on them. I never smoked or drank. I tried to be obedient. But internally I rebelled.

In college I broke free from all shackles and read the novels I wanted and smoked. I was expelled from the catholic university because they found bottles of liquor in my bag, put there by my classmates. I went all crazy. I thought why did I convert to Christianity so young? Why don't I have the stories of ex-drug addicts, or ex-prostitutes who tasted the dark before coming to Christ? Why was I to be denied all these worldly pleasures?

Louis's transformation into the vampire was physical. He was to have a body that would have powers no human being could have. But his soul... did it change? That was his burning question for the rest of the book, and highly worth examining.

When I converted to Christianity, there was no heavenly lights falling down on me. The world felt utterly the same. But inside I felt cleaned, loved, treasured, assured. Writing about this now as a thirty-three year-old man, I think, what happened? How come I lost all of that? I might not have changed physically dramatically like Louis turning into a vampire, but my inside was changed. I became, in the words of Saint Paul to the Corinthians, a new creation. Am I less loved and treasured today than that first day? Surely not! For God is faithful and continued to love me in spite of my many rebellions through adolescence and young adulthood, and even in my 30s.

For us Protestants, the proof of commitment to our new faith was through certain rituals: prayer of acceptance and repentance, baptism. Both symbolized the death of the old self and the rebirth of the spirit. We were to study Scripture and continually meet with fellow Christians. For Louis, the proof of commitment Lestat required of him was for him to witness the death of his plantation overseer. Louis had a reverence for life which, he said, never went away even though he became a vampire. Why is death always a part of any ritual of conversion, whether symbolic (as in baptism) or actual (as in Lestat's killing)? These are mysteries of life I would not know. Life and death seem to be deeply ingrained into the very fabric of our universe.

Day One on IWTV

I realize how serendipitous it is that I begin with Interview. I so wanted to forget about my plan and review Called Out of Darkness because, although Anne is most known for her fiction, her memoir is my favorite of her books. I also want to go into Prince Lestat so badly!

Interview begins where the reader's position is. It is as if we were the boy, too, wanting to find out about the vampire even as we shudder at his presence. And then we are seduced, by the vampire, by his story, by his beauty and voice. And we fumble, just like the boy, not knowing the right questions to ask. We are faced with the supernatural here.

I have to go back to when I first read Interview. I was in high school. I did not know that a lot of people in my generation were the same. My classmates have seen the movie. I haven't. A girl from the first section (the brainy class) lent me her paperback copy.

Back in high school I would've done anything to fit in. I'd be the class clown, the one who strived hard for good grades, not only for my teachers' approval, but also my classmates', for I often showed them the answers to my homework in exchange for camaraderie. Belongingness was very important to me.

This was a trait I carried to much of my adult life. (Isn't it obvious? I want to jump into the Prince Lestat bandwagon? I want Anne Rice to post a link of my glowing review on her Page.) But it also showed in a lot of other ways. My most honest boss once told me that I sway too easily to popular opinion, and that I should learn to stand by my thoughts because they were, too, valid and sensible.

One may think that wanting to belong is normal for human beings, and it is. I think maybe the reason I push it over the edge is because I didn't quite receive it when I was young, at least not from my parents. I grew up knowing I have to be at my best for people to like me, and that my friends are my friends not because of who I am, but because of what I do and how well I do what I do.

Auditions terrify me. When I don't pass the rejection bruises me. In confrontations, I tend to back down, listen, try to see what the other person's point of view is, try to win the other person, at the argument.

As an actor and as a writer, I am haunted by this fear always. That I am not really part of the crowd of real actors, real writers--that something is missing in me. A certain knowledge, a certain look, a manner.

I feel an outcast. Even in my own church. Is this universal? Do all human beings feel this way? Did Jesus feel like an outcast, too?

So reading Interview now, I am astounded that I could feel more empathy towards Louis than I ever did. This feeling of being cutoff from light and the living and all innocent happiness.

Interview also begins with death. One very excruciating one that will echo throughout the many deaths in the book. The death of Louis's brother, Paul. Knowing what I know now about Anne from her memoir, I suspect Paul symbolized the death of her Catholic faith and devotion growing up. I never really trust a novel now that does not mention death in any way. Death is a fact of life, something we all have to face sooner or later. Paul's death was devastating for Louis, and he blamed himself for it. Does Louis pay for that guilt every dawn as he retreats into his coffin?

Louis's world was full of concerns about plantations and managing it. Paul's world was the spirituality, religious fervor. And when Paul wanted to be a missionary, to live like a saint sworn to poverty, Louis refused. It was because his world as he knew it would be greatly affected if he agreed that Paul's visions were real. I believe a lot of us would have behaved as Louis did, to dismiss another person's spirituality not without egotism.

It is hard not to dismiss other people's beliefs when the affect our own, or go against our own. I think the day we all could just breathe together and cherish each other's presence and humanity is the day religion dies.

But now let me talk about egotism and the need to belong. When I was fifteen I belonged to a group of artists I would have gladly stormed the gates of hell for, and with. I felt invincible with them. I felt loved by them. And yes, I was often admonished for my youthful lack of taciturnity and tact, but I saw these admonitions as to be done in love and in my own best interest.

The leader of this group I looked up to as a brother closer than any friend I ever had. I believe a lot of us in that group of teenagers and young professionals in their 20s felt that way, too. He was a great spiritual leader and model. But then that leader began to make sexual advances towards me. In the fear that I might disillusion the other members of the group if I spoke out. I was fearful, too, that it was my fault. That I inadvertently attracted the man's attention and warranted his abuses. And I was afraid to lose the friendship and belongingness I enjoyed with the leader, and the group.

So I shut up. I valued being part of a group, and will not say anything that might threaten the integrity of the group nor its leader, even though I was being hurt.I wonder now, too, if that martyrdom was nothing but egotism.

I bookmarked my reading just before Lestat enters Louis's life: which was at a point he was so devastated and wanting to die but lacked the courage to kill himself. I'll read some more tomorrow.